Come Down From the Ledge

This morning I had my first ultrasound to study the size and quantity of my follicle development. I'm monitored by my OBGYN and they send all the results and testing to my fertility doctor. (It seems like a round about way of doing it, but it's easier location wise).

After my ultrasound I was told that I only had 3 follicles on my right side!...I swear I at least counted 7, maybe 8 on the ultrasound monitor. I was told the follicles on the left were too small. So, here I sit thinking to myself "this cycle is going to be canceled". I panicked. Called Jason on my way back to work (work?...who can work really when follicles are front and center on your mind?) and just cried. I had to wait until 3:30 to call medvoice and get my next instructions from my fertility doctor....3:30! My ultrasound was at 9:30. lol...

Interesting enough, I happen to find out a couple weeks ago a friend of mine is going through the exact same process with the exact same doctor...she's about 2 weeks ahead of me. Crazy small world. I picked up the phone and dialed. I needed to gain some sense of hope that this ultrasound was not lost, that I can relax a bit. After hanging up the phone I felt better. She talked me down from the ledge. She reminded me it was early yet and my smaller follicles can still progress...she told me this was normal. *Sigh*...I could breath a bit lighter.

Next steps?? Take another round of Lupron and Brevelle (now up to 3 vials) and have another ultrasound and blood work tomorrow (Friday) morning. At the end of the day I did talk to a nurse from my fertility office and she told me all looks fine and tomorrow will tell us if the smaller ones will join the party or not. I've always admitted to lacking in the patience department...this is helping me work on that.

God is good. I feel surrounded by grace at a time when I should be angry and utterly frustrated. The frustration is still there and the occasional "why me?" still enters my mind, but the difference is I choose to praise God through the storm. Peace always follows praise.

I added a "favorite links" to the left of the page. I found a song, "I Would Die For That" which just made me sit and stare at the screen. I thought I would share.